Shopping with the Preggies

Last friday, I accompanied the two preggies, Hazel and Ka-ye to Market Market at mamimili sila nang souvenirs for their joined baby shower this coming tuesday. I actually offered to drive them there. Alam niyo naman, ini-ispoil ko ang mga buntis ko. I'm an excited TL for their babies eh. Actually, kabuwanan na ni Ka-ye this month. Kinakabahan ako. Anytime next week kasi, may chance na siyang manganak.

We left our house around 4:45pm. Actually, ang usapan, 12:00pm. Nakauwi na ako sa bahay nang 7:30am from work, at natulog nang 8:ooam. Nagpagising na lang ako kay mamiko nang 11:00am, which she did naman. Actually, naunang gumising sa akin si Ka-ye. Tinawagan niya ako. Bangag bangag pa ako. Kaso pinatulog niya uli ako kasi hindi pa daw nagpaparamdam si Hazel. Eh di okay. Kahit bitin at putol ang tulog, at least may extension.

Around 1:30pm, si Hazel naman ang tumawag na super duper energetic pa. Gumising na daw ako at aalis daw kami nang 3:00pm. Magkikita na lang daw sila at pupunta na lang sila dito sa house, dala ang car ni Ka-ye. Eh di bangon naman si ako, bangag bangag pa din. Ligo at ayos na. Pinaayos ko na din si mamiko at isasama ko. Si Kumander at Bess na nagsabi na sasama eh biglang hindi na.

Ay!!! 4:30pm na sila dumating. Ang Hazel, nanggaling pa ata nang Zimbabwe. Hehe. Siyempre, hindi ka naman mainis kasi mga buntis yun. Hehe. It was my first time to drive papuntang Market Market kaya exciting kasi malalaman ko na ang way. Hehe. Kaso sobrang ingat at kabado ko din at dalawang buntis yung sakay ko. First time din ni Hazel sa Market Market kaya pagdating, kinuhanan ko na agad nang picture. Remembrance. Haha.


Hindi pa ako kumakain kaya medyo gutom na ako pagdating doon. Ganun din si Hazel. Kaya nag-aya na muna kaming kumain bago mag-ikot ikot for the souvenirs. We went to Sbarro, ang favorite kainan ni Ka-ye. Sa office kasi, laging pasta pizza combo ang dala sa kanya ni Chris. Sosyal nang pinaglilihiang food. Hehe.


Nakakatuwa kasama ang mga buntis. Siguro kong tatlo lang kami, inisip na siguro nang mga tao na makakasalubong namin na ako ang tatay at dalawa ang nabuntis ko. Hehe. Pero kasama namin si mamiko kaya pwede kaming pagkamalang pamilya lang. Ako yung anak na lalaki, at kasama ko ang nanay na konsintidor at hinayaan mabuntis ang dalawang anak na babae. Hehe. Nakaka-distract ang boobsicles nang mga buntis habang kumakain. Nagsipag-lakihan na. Haha.


After kumain, nag-ikot ikot muna kami. Actually, dumeretso agad kami sa isang store na kung saan may nagustuhang damit at sapatos ang dalawang buntis habang papunta kami sa Sbarro. Ang bibilis talaga nang mga mata. Hindi ko mapigilan, mga buntis eh. Mahigpit na bilin nang mga asawa na souvenirs lang ang bilhin. Hehe. Binawasan pa nga nila ang pera nang mga buntis kasi baka hindi daw makapag-pigil. Haha. Coot coot.


After sa mga damit, nakakita naman sila nang store nang mga shoes. Hay! Feeling ko nag-stay kami doon nang isang oras. Hehe. At kasabwat nila si mamiko. Pati siya, nakiki-sukat nang mga sapatos. Wala naman dalang pera. Kaya ang kinabaksakan, ayun, ako ang nagbayad. Waaah!!! Mautak ang nanay ko.


And after makabili nang shoes si Ka-ye at si mamiko (si hazel, walang nabili after all), nahimasmasan ata ang mga buntis at biglang na-realize na magsimula na silang maghanap nang souvenirs for their baby showers. We went down to the ground floor where all the souvenir stores are located. In fairness, ang hirap mamili. Ang dami kasing pagpipilian.


Sabi ko sa kanila, balang araw, ipagpapasalamat niyo itong ginagawa kong pag-document nang preggy escapades nila. Kasi paglaki nang anak nila, they will show these pictures (oh my! please, not this blog) and they will tell them what they did for their baby shower. For some reason, pareho nilang gustong "Uno" ang pangalan nang first baby nila. Kulet! BFF sila! Haha.


After namin maglibot, finally, nakapag-decide ang dalawang buntis kung anong souvenir item ang ibibigay nila sa team para sa exclusive Team Protege Baby Shower. Pero, nawindang ako kung ano ang napagdesisyunan nilang souvenir. Pumunta pa kami nang Market Market para doon. Haha. Surprise na lang muna.


Hinayaan ko na muna silang dalawa makipag-deal doon kay ate tindera para sa souvenir item. Si mamiko muna ang pinagtripan ko. Hehe. Sabi ko, "Ma, pose ka nga, pipichuran kita, dali...". Ayy!!! Walang kaamok-amok, pumose agad. Haha. Hanapin niyo ang lahat nang violet sa picture. Paramihan nang hanap. Hehe.


Medyo maraming tao that time sa Market Market kasi parang may fans day ang Star Magic of ABS-CBN sa ground circle nang mall. Grabe, andaming "emo". Hassle! Nagsayaw si Maja Salvador, pati si Rafael Rossel. Though I wanted to get a glimpse pero ayaw ko naman makipagsiksikan. After the show na lang ako kumuha nang picture. Hehe.


We decided to go to Bench after nilang bilhin yung souvenir items (at narealize kong bigla pagkabayad nila na ako lang ang magbubuhat nang lahat nang iyon. hehe. pero carry lang). Pero iniwan muna namin kay ate tindera. Hassle naman pumunta nang Bench nang madami akong bitbit. Nagshopping kaming apat sa Bench. Hehe. Why Not!


Si Hazel, nag-shopping nang underwear para sa kanyang hubby. Si Ka-ye at mamiko, bumili nang pabango. Ako, bumili nang shades. Hehe. Wala lang. Para lang may mabili kami. Haha. Segue way lang. May staff doon na kahawig ni Nathan. Nanlaki yung mata ko nung nakita ko siya. Akala ko pa nga, siya eh. Buti na lang hindi. Medyo maliit lang kay Nathan. I tried taking a shot, kaso di ako maka-kuha nang magandang tiyempo, ito lang ang nakayanan ko.


Coot coot niya. Tangos nang ilong at maganda ang lips (of course). Siya nga ang nag-assist sa akin dun sa shades na binili ko. Kinilig nga ako. Actually di ko naman masyado gusto talaga yung shades, so-so lang, pero dahil siya ang nag-assist, nabili ko tuloy. Haha. After sa bench, lumabas na kami. It was 8:30pm already na kasi. Nag-final shopping na lang kami nang kung ano-anong food doon sa outdoor market.


It was a fun day with the preggies, and of course, with mamiko. Parang family bonding lang. Ang saya! At napansin niyo, wala akong masyadong picture sa entry na ito. Kalungkot di ba. Puro yung mga buntis. Hehe. Anyways, excited na ako sa baby Shower nila!!!

After Work

It was a tiring work week that was. Sobrang stressed ako, as in. Andaming pangyayari last week. Nakakapagod. Pero nakaka-aliw naman. But I'm glad that week was done. Kaya after work, dumaan kami nila Drey, Raine at Sherrie sa Caltex para bumili nang food. Gutom na rin ako, at kailangan din magpabarya ni Drey.


And as usual, while waiting for the rest of our order, it was the attack of Pichur Pichur 1-2-3 ni TL kay Drey. I don't know why, but I always enjoy doing this to Drey. Maybe because di kasi siya pikon, and game sa lahat nang asaran. Pero hindi sinasadya, lagi nagkakataon na nagagawa ko ito sa kanya. I think, pangatlo na niya ito. Laging siya ang victim. Hehe. Love you Drey!!!

I hope everyone had a great weekend!!!

What if your guy admits he cheated on you?

Another scene I like in the movie "He is just not that in to you" (sorry, I'm still stucked to it), was the part when Ben (Bradley Cooper) admitted to his wife Janine (Jennifer Connelly) inside a warehouse store that he cheated on her. They were just a newly wed couple who has been dating since college. It was the first time he cheated due to the fact that they don't have great sex anymore.

The guy tried hiding it at first, and continued enjoying his affair with Anna (Scarlett Johansson) until he got to the point that he's liking the girl more than his wife already (because Anna is so good on bed). It was a shocking revelation to Janine when his guy confessed. But in the end, she broke up with Ben and decided to live on her own. It's a sad truth and this really happens in real life.


I then started contemplating on that. What would you do if your guy admitted that he cheated on you? What would be your response? Will you curse him? Will you forgive him because you love him so much? I've been cheated by some of my ex-es, and I had multiple reactions from each of them. And there are some things that I learned out of those.

I learned that nothing destroys a relationship more than when your partner cheats. Many issues are affected in the relationship, the least of which is trust. The hurt partner’s self-esteem is shattered, the love that binds two people together is permanently maimed, and the idea of continuing to be together becomes a nightmare. No one can pinpoint any specific reason for cheating except to say that it is not something which “just happens.”

Having a partner cheat is very heartbreaking. The idea that the man who vowed to love and honor you can leave a partner lost and overwhelmed with hurt. If there are attachments to the family of your partner in the picture, the pain is doubled because of their emotional upheaval. When a guy cheats on his partner, the results can be devastating and can cause a ripple effect of pain and resentment that can last years.

What should you do when confronted by the fact that your guy cheated?

The best action that can be taken after finding out that your guy has cheated is no action. Do nothing for forty-eight hours. You are in shock and shock makes you do irrational things. Let the knowledge settle in and think of what your next course of action will be a week from that first day. Give yourself time to understand what has happened.

Establish what this breach of trust has done to your relationship. If your guy is sincerely contrite and wants the relationship to continue, decide if that is what you want also. Give yourself time to make the decision. It should not be a moment of you thinking about your partner, but it should be a moment where you will think about yourself.

Do not go for payback also. Don’t have an affair just to “get even.” If forgiveness is possible for you, do so. Understand that forgiveness doesn’t make what he did excusable. Learning to trust again will be very difficult, but don’t play the martyr. Let him know the pain he caused you. Remember, you are the one who is hurting. Give yourself plenty of time to heal.

When decisions are hard, really hard, like this one, try to think with your heart, not with your head. Try to not over think also, just sit quietly and listen to yourself. You will know, one way or the other what to do. What you hear may not be what you want to hear, but if you trust that little voice, it will be the right decision for you. Looking back, listening to your Self is always the best bet. Go with your gut, your instinct and your heart. Believe me, you'll never be wrong...

I Love Singing

Wanna hear TL singing???

Hehe. Here are some clips/videos taken from my first and second U.S. trip last 2007 from Tacoma Washington and Salem, Oregon. Wala lang. I feel like singing today. I guess a lot of things that are happening around gives me so much inspiration. I just love to sing. It allows me to express my inner feelings. Hay...

I'll Be
-clip-
Tacoma, Washington
Thanks to Kristine who took the video!


Honesty
-full length-
Salem, Oregon
Thanks to Kuh who took the video!

Promoted na sila!!!

Ganyan sana ang gusto kong maging reaksyon ni Kumander pag nalaman niyang na-promote na siya. Hay! Ang kaso, nauna ang mga ugong-ugong na balita kaya wala na akong na-plot na surprise. Mahilig pa naman ako sa ganun. Naaalala ko pa nung una siyang na-promote bilang yaya ko, este assistant ko, napaiyak siya sa tuwa sa surprise announcement ko sa Manong's Grill and Restaurant during our first team building.


That was unforgetable. One of the highlights nang team building namin. Ngayon, it's official, magkakahiwalay na kami. Shet! May seperation anxiety pa naman ako. Last day na niya tomorrow as my assistant. But super duper happy ako for her. It's all what I've wanted to happen. To see her grow more as a leader. I've given everything to ensure that she will be in my position someday. And now, it has finally happened.

Maisusulat mo na rin Kumander sa wakas ang sinuggest kong blog title when I featured your blog here in my site, yung "Yes! Promoted na ako!!!". Hehe.

Btw, not only Kumander got promoted, Nunong Rob got accepted also!!! Waaahhh!!! I'm the happiest TL!!! Wala pang round nang promotion sa company namin na walang may hindi nakakapasa sa mga tao ko. So far, I already have 7 promotions na out of 4 rounds of opportunity openings after a year in operations. That's actually one of my goals as a leader, to see my team growing with the company. And there's more to come, promise!


I will surely miss Rob as well. He's the best team player that I have worked with. Such a cool daddy. I'm sure his coot kids will be very proud of him. I saw these coming. I had a vision that Kumander and Nunong Rob will go to the next level. And I'm glad that it finally happened. Waaah!!! Baka maiyak ako bukas pag nakita ko sila on their last day on their current role. Iwas iyak pa naman si ako. Hehe. Bahala na.

CONGRATULATIONS again to Eds and Rob!!!

In Response to Wildion Part II

Bom Dia!!! (Portuguese for Good morning)

Parehas lang pala tayo nang reactions whenever we read our responses to each other. Funnee! I guess that's one of the main reason why I chose to post and answer your email, may sense kasi. Actually, madami. Kaya gawin nating plural ang sense. Senses. Ayan! Hehe. Parang kay ItchyWorm lang. (Hmm, bihira magparamdam si IW lately-tampo mode)

Oissst, don't spend too much money on my blog. Nakakahiya naman. Be practical nga. Maraming walang trabaho ngayon. We have to value our money. Naks! Hehe. And don't spend too much time with my blog. Baka one day, bisitahin na lang kita sa Mental Hosiptal diyan sa Dubai (kung meron man) dahil nalulon ka na sa adiksyon. Hehe.

Pareho pala tayong impulsive. Shet! Ganyan din ako. Kaya nga siguro spoiled brat ang tawag nang ilan sa akin. From mamiko and to some of my friends. Lagi nasusunod dapat yung gusto ko. Hehe. Kahit nga sa boss ko eh. Feeling ko spoiled ako. Madalas kong makuha mga gusto ko. Hehe. Pero naman kasi, good boy talaga ako kaya minsan I deserve it. Haha. Dinefense!!!

Hay! May cardiomegaly na nga ako ata. Nakakataba yung mga natatanggap kong emails from different people, expressing their gratitude for my blog. Especially from you. Actually, I'm really shocked on how I am helping other people just by my pure craziness. Sabi ko na eh! Walang naniniwala sa akin dati. Kabaliwan lang talaga ang sagot sa madaming problema. Hehe.

Wildion, I have different work schedules kaya iba iba minsan ang time nang pagbo-blog ko. Pag Monday, Tuesday and Friday, usually mga 6:30-8:00am. Pag Wednesday and Thursday naman, mas marami akong time, from 4:00-8:00am. Kaya kung mapapansin niyo, mas maraming entries nang mga araw na yun.

Pag Saturday and Sunday, depende na yan. Flexi-schedule na ako niyan kasi off ko. Pag tinopak lang. Hehe. Oo nga, para ka nang stalker ko, aside from alam mo lahat nang nangyayari sa buhay ko (by following my blog), alam mo din ang schedule ko. Hala! Wag ka ma-o-obsess sa akin ha. Wahaha. Just kidding! And thanks in advance for the promotion of my blog. Hanap mo ako nang cute na reader. Hihi. (landi mode)

Alam mo, pagdating dun sa sinabi mong you always want to be a mother, naku, parang di ako maka-relate. Never ko kasing naramdaman yan. I always wanted to be a guy. Never I have fancied girl's stuff, clothes, make-up, neither tried using them. Hindi naging issue nang brain ko ang gender ko. Sexuality, oo! Pero friends na ang brain at ang sexuality ko ngayon. Hehe.

Funny nga ang boss ko the other day, paratangan ba naman ako na hindi daw ako tunay na PLU. Hala! Nagpapanggap lang daw ako (alam niya kasi storya nang buhay ko at medyo close kami). May tinanong kasi siyang guy sa akin kung gay daw ba yun. Sabi ko I have poor gaydar. I have no idea. Nainis. At yun ang sinabi. Bigla akong pinagdudahan. Haha. Nagtawanan lang kami.

Alam mo, I will not say that I have been acting so straight. I just can't assume that. Who knows, may kilos pala akong I'm not aware of na medyo gayish. But I never bother to think of that. Mind setting lang kasi yan eh. Basta kung ano ang nasa utak mo, yan ang magre-reflect sa panglabas. Since I know that I'm a guy who just happenned to have a different sexuality, my actions remains like a straight guy.

Baka your actions are caused by what your mind has been telling you. Maybe, you wanna start improving your mind setting bago totally mo ma-achieve ang desire mong kumilos nang tuwid. Try it! There's no harm naman in trying. Para hindi ka na mainggit sa akin. Actually, hindi nga ako sanay na may taong nag-eexpress nang inggit sa akin. Alam ko kasi, simpleng tao lang ako. Naks! Pa-humble effect!

In fairness, natawa ako sa suggestion mong pilot episode nang talk show ko. Napahalakhak ako like there's no tomorrow. Lintek! Ang kulet nang idea. Ano yun, nagkatuhog-tuhog na ang mga lalake sa aking nakaraan. Sila sila. Wahaha. Kulet! And the suggested titles of the show, kulet!! Okay na nga ang TL. Pero ang meaning eh TiliLing. Hehe.

Jay is not yet a lawyer. Oh well, we've both dreamed that to happen. I wanted him to reach his goal. He's on his way, baby steps. I hope someday, he can be. He's good kasi. Sa sobrang galing nga niya, pati ako natatalo niya. Kaya nakipaghiwalay ako. Haha. Just kidding. Oist, hindi yun ang dahilan ha. Baka maniwala kayo.

Actually I don't mind telling what happened between me and my ex-es. My life is an open book na nga through this blog. Kaso, in respect na lang to them, I decided not to share na lang those kind of information. I value each of them naman kasi. They had purposes why they came in to my life. Kaya kahit di nag-last yung relationship, I value pa rin sila.

Si Jowell? Hmmm. He got my attention nga eh. Pero mahirap kasi tumingin sa dilim (gets mo?). All I know is that he is Jowell in my chatbox and that's it. Whether he is true with his words or not, blank pa din. Hehe. But I do appreciate what he expresses publicly. But seriously, all I'm waiting is for the strongest guy who would show up in front of me and will tell me, "Love me TL, I'm yours!!!". Hehe.

Shet! Ang corny ko talaga. Hehe. Till next exchange of email...


Jerjerly yours,
TL

Wildion replies Part III

Ohayo gozaimasu, TL-san!!! (Nihonggo for Good morning; san is like “honorific”) Ogenki desu ka? (How are you?)

Gosh!!!! Actually, everytime na nagbabasa ako ng mga sinusulat mo dito, lalo na yung responses mo sa mga letter ko, hindi ko mapigil ang tumawa. As in, una impit na smile, kaso parang overwhelming talaga kaya, hayun, tawa to the max na. Anyways, alam mo TL, kahapon (Monday yan ha), panay ang connect ko sa internet. At bawat connect 10 pesos agad ang “kupit” ng Smart sakin. Hay, pero bahala na. Impulsive kasi ako. Pag gusto ko, talagang I get it, kahit na maubos pa pera ko. Hehe….

And TL sana magkakaroon ka na nito ng cardiomegaly (heart enlargement), wala akong ibang reason ng pag-iinternet kundi masilayan lang ang bago mong entries. The whole day, I waited na mapublish yung second part ng letter ko at ang reply mo. Sad to say, I tried the whole day pero wala. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, “Ano ba? Tumino ka nga? Ang dami mong work, o. Tingnan mo tambak na sa mesa mo. Bakit parang adik ka sa kakacheck diyan?”

Eh alam ko namang once in a day ka lang usually nagchecheck ng blog mo. As far as I could remember, nasabi mo sa isa mong entry about your time management , nung night shift ka ‘ata, na work ka mga 6pm until 5 in the morning, tapos gym then go home pero bago sleep eh, bloggin’ muna for about two hours.

Hay, yung sked na yan ang nakaprogram sa mind ko ngunit nung Sunday, nakita ko na yung time ng pagpost mo ng entry mo ay 3 in the afternoon kaya hayun, nung Monday asa to the max ako na may update. Haha…. Palagay ko stalker mo na ako…. Wala lang.. Baka pathologic na ito? My gosh, TL! Baka nga sakit na to? Hehe..

And don’t worry about visitors. I-popromote kita sa lahat ng students ko (hopefully ma-influence ko sila ano. Dami kayang PLUs dun. Just wait ha. Malapit na ang start ng mga review para sa June Nursing board exam kaya dami na naman raket ko at most importantly, dadami na rin mga students ko. Try ko talagang i-endorse tong site mo.

Well, since it seems you are really one trustworthy kuya-friend to me, I better be honest. At least I’ll try to be here. (I just don’t find myself honest to myself. Sorry.) I am like this Aphrodite-trapped-in-Adonis’s-body kind of person. I don’t know. Actually, I am just like you. I wanted to be straight. Damn, how I’ve psychologically tried to be one, but I just failed in all of those attempts. You know, the frustration of being not able to reach the norms of the people around you was just unbearable.

Actually, I really want to be a straight guy. I don’t really want to be like this. I want to have a family, have my own sweet kids. The only problem is that I always want to be the mother! (Baka isipin mong talagang mahinhin ako at nagdadamit babae ha. A big “No!”) I want to have a husband. That’s the biggest problem. No matter how I try to change my mind’s orientation, I just couldn’t. My heart just wouldn’t accept what my brain dictates. So complicated, neh? Well, that is it.

That is why I envy you TL. That is the real reason of my expressed envy of you. You are straight-acting and that gives you a better advantage of finding a good-looking, straight-acting guy than me. I still am suspended in this trance of being a woman. Yet, do you know that I never really wanted to dress like one? I still go for the fashion of males. I want to copy what “straight” men wear. I know I can carry my clothes well.

The real problem is no matter how manly my clothes are, I most of the time lose it. I am so accustomed to acting effeminate everytime I go with people I know understand me, but I always try to look manly before those people whom I believe still cannot accept the real me. Although I know, I have not been that good in pretending and have given them ample of hints regarding my identity, yet I still do it, just for the sake of retaining the respect these people accorded me.

Now does this give you a hint why I told you that you are the exact projection of who I want to be? You are undeniably smart, outgoing, responsible and most of all you value emotions in a relationship rather than pure flesh – traits that I could easily identify with. That is why, seeing your life unfold before me everyday is like seeing myself live the life I wanted. Please forgive me for this seemingly treacherous “manggagamit” action. I don’t intend to but it just happened. That is why I am very much pleased you have accepted me as your friend. This really means a lot to me.

Well regarding your TV show, let’s call it simply “TL”. Such small word with thousands of meanings. True Love. Too Loving. Trip Lang. Team Leader… and so on. That show is about free association – just talking about anything. Or maybe, yung experiences mo? You may want to share all the lessons you learned.

You could invite all your ex-es on your pilot episode and then iron out things which seemed so vague before (parang ibinuyangyang mo na ang buong buhay mo niyan… hehe… bad script writer kaya ako? Hmmm…). Malay mo, magiging matchmaker ka ulit and then meron sa kanilang magkakagustohan. Haha…. Crazy, crazy…

By the way, is Jay a lawyer? You said he’s taking up his master’s in law. I do believe so he is. Kasi para yatang hindi mo naisulat kung ano talaga yung profession niya just that he’s taking his master’s degree.. Hay, TL, kung magkaganyan, wala ka nang problema. Solve na lahat ng legal conflicts mo. Mahal kaya ngayon ng abogado. Appearance lang naman ayhndi bababa sa 10,000 ha. Kaya masuwerte ka.

About your ex-es, hay… mga girls were like… “My gosh! Ang guwapo niya. Sayang.” Guys were like, “really? Nagjo-joke ka sir?” haha… kasi they really look straight. Kaya sabi ko “Girls, mag-ingat-ingat kayo. Baka ang kaholding hands niyo, iba ang “hinohold” pag wala kayo.” Hahaha… tawa lang sila nang tawa… but when you said, “people who broke ‘your’ heart” para yatang, I could sense na me mali silang ginawa sa yo. Anyways, I will not intrude into your personal life. I know you don’t wish to divulge much info about your heartaches… you want to forget them.

Pero I do believe na along your journey forward in life, may makikita ka pang marami diyan – men who will really be true to you. Hindi naman mahirap sa’yo yan eh. Yun nga o, may Jowell ka na naman. Hehehe… yung sa chatbox mo… nililigawan ka na non… haha… saya ng buhay mo TL. And because of our talk, na-lilighten up yung day ko. In fairness, pause naman ako sa work at magsulat nito.. Nakakaadik talaga.

At dahil sa Open Arms niyo ni Jay last Valentines, mukha yatang favorite ko na ngayon si Mariah. Actually dalawa lang sa songs niya ang talagang gusto ko. Yung Open Arms ni Jay para sa’yo at ang Love Takes Time (to heal when you’re hurting so much)… hay….

Na-e boja (Korean: See ya)

Waiting for your next reply….

Planning our upcoming Saturday

After shift, and after my one meeting kanina, Drey, Angel, Val and me decided to go to Chowking in Madrigal to eat. Nagutom kasi ako (and I'm glad they are still in the office). Pagdating ko nang work kasi, may kinausap agad akong tao. After, may conference naman. Tapos may meeting. Hassle! Ang sakit sa utak. Kaya nagutom nang todo si TL. Hehe.


Actually, it's our 5 hour shift tambay day. Kuwentuhan lang. Asaran. Tawanan. Talking about anything under the bright moon. Maaga pa kasi para umuwi. So what we did, pinag-usapan namin kung ano ang gagawin namin this saturday. Since none from my outside the office friends texted me for any lakad, I committed myself to the office friends for this saturday.


Either we will go to a club for some dancing (namimiss ko na kasi sumayaw) in Malate, or we'll go out of town. Road trip. Batangas. Nature tripping. Camwhoring. Isasama namin si Kumander kasi anytime this week, baka i-announce na yung inapply-an niyang position, baka ma-promote na siya, mawawala na siya sa team. So last moment ito. Sana matuloy. Excited na ako!!!

Dreaming of Ex-es???

Last last night, I had this weird dream. For some reason, napanaginipan kong nasa isang pool daw ako in one village with some friends na hindi ko na ma-identify, and I was with Pax daw. He was embracing me and all, and we were like super in good terms. And then suddenly, he saw a guy sa likod ko na may kasama ding guy, naka-motor sila na panalo, mukhang mamahalin, at naka-park sila.


Pax asked me if that was my ex Arvie. Paglingon ko, it was Arvie nga. Bigla daw akong lumingon pabalik at nailang. Maybe because nahihiya pa din ako sa ginawa ko kay Arvie (I just broke up with him through text). So lumangoy na lang daw ako sa pool together with Pax. And that's it. Two ex in one dream. So weird. And I have no idea what's the meaning of it. Di ko naman na sila iniisip. Hay!

My First Threesome

Cast of Characters:
TL
Direk
Boytoy

Location:
Puerto Gallera


Matagal ko nang ka-text itong Director na ito (Direk). Through one site kami nagkakilala at nagkabigayan nang number. Online acquaintance lang. Never kaming naging interesadong magkita. As in. Kamustahan lang sa text. Kulitan. Pero walang something. For more than a year, ganun lang ang set up namin.

Until one time, he texted me that he needed a break. Pupunta daw muna siya nang Puerto Gallera para mag-relax (Summer of 2006). Sabi ko lang sa kanya, tama din yun at kailangan din niyang magpahinga. Andami niyang projects that time. Ang sabi niya baka mag-isa lang daw siyang pupunta doon. Gusto lang daw talaga niyang magpahinga.


On the week that he was there, nagkataong biglaang nagyaya pumunta nang Gallera ang kaibigan kong si Zue Anne. Bigla ko siyang naalala while we're on the boat na. So I texted him, sabi ko I'll be in Gallera. If he wants to meet up, just text me. Ang sagot lang niya sa akin, "Okay". So fine! With the most hated one word in text. Hindi na ako nagparamdam pa. Pagdating doon, nag-enjoy ako with the company of Zue Anne. Besides, it's our summer escapade.

Until nung gabi, he then texted me to meet up. I asked him where as I just finished taking a bath and about to settle on my bed. It was around 9pm already. Si Zue Anne, naka-settle na din sa kama niya. He asked me where my room was. After saying where I was staying at, surprisingly, iisa lang pala kami nang lugar, magkaiba lang nang room. Pagkakataon nga naman!

He asked me to go to his room, he gave his room number and told me that I should go now there as he was just alone. Hindi ko unang inisip kung bakit gusto niya akong pumunta na habang mag-isa lang siya, at kung ano pang pwedeng mangyari. Ang unang pumasok sa isip ko, may kasama pala siya. Ang sabi niya kasi, mag-isa lang siya. But anyways, the hell I care. So I went to his room.

May halong kaba. Kasi first time namin magkikita. Pagkatok sa room, ang bumukas sa akin ay isang hunky guy, topless, just wearing his jeans, blonde ang spikey hair, and mapungay na mata. Hindi ko alam kung nakita niya yung paglaki nang mata ko. I wasn't expecting to see a hunky looking guy. Nagulat talaga ako. Macho pala si Direk. Hmmm. Hehe.

Pagpasok nang room niya, ang lakas nang tibok nang puso ko. Haha. Andaming pumapasok sa utak ko. Nanliit ako sa room na dalawa lang kami. Anything can happen. But I was ready. I was single at that time, and technically, he's not a stranger to me naman. Somehow, may nabuo nang bonding sa amin for a long time.

Just to break any awkwardness, bigla kong natanong kung sino kasama niya. Sabi niya, friend daw niya, na at that time, nasa pink bar, nakikipaglandian daw. So okay. Hanggang lumapit na siya sa akin, at ako naman si sobrang tensyonado inside, pero chillax lang outside, he hugged me and said, finally, nagkita na tayo. Ang sagot ko, "Oo nga!". Haha. Ang panget!

Dalawa yung bed sa room nila. Isang malaki, at isang maliit. Doon kami sa maliit humiga. We embraced each other and kuwentuhan. I was pleased that he did not even do anything sexual. Despite na gustong gusto ko naman at the back of my mind. Haha. Kasi naman, topless si Direk. Ako, balot na balot. So, init nang katawan lang niya ang ramdam ko. Hehe.

Hanggang biglang may kumatok, yung friend niya, si Boytoy. Pinakilala sa akin, pero after, humiga na sa malaking kama at natulog. Lasing na ata. O napagod sa kakalandi sa bar. Hehe. Tuloy pa rin ang kuwentuhan namin about different stuff although I asked him if it's still okay for me to stay kasi nakakahiya kay Boytoy. He insisted for me to stay. Okay lang daw. Aba! Okay naman din sa akin. Hehe.

After a few minutes, bigla niyang kinuha ang kamay ko at nilagay niya on his junior. Ay!!! Nagulat ako. Pero di na ako pumalag. Naisip ko nang woot-woot moment yun. Go lang. Sabi nga, what happens in Gallera, stays in Gallera. Ang kaso, may kasama kaming ibang tao sa room. Hassle. Pero huwag ko daw intindihin. Eh di fine. So inexpect ko, mga touching and kissing lang iyon. So carry lang.

Hanggang sa naghubad na siya. Lalo akong na-hassle kasi parang to-todo na. Hinuhubaran na rin niya ako. Pero I kept on thinking about Boytoy. Baka kasi maggising at makita niya kaming nagwoo-woot-woot. Pero hinayaan ko na lang. So we continued. Until I got surprised after kissing him, biglang may apat na kamay na ang naka-hawak sa akin. Nagulat ako. Pagtingin ko, gising na si Boytoy at kasali na sa amin. Waaahhh!!!!!

Wala na akong nagawa. Although pwede namang meron pero naisip ko, why not na nga. Try ko lang. I can stop naman if it's no longer working for me. Kakaiba yung feeling as you are not used to it. Nasanay kang dalawa lang. Pagdating nang kalagitnaan, hinayaan ko na silang dalawa. Lumipat ako sa malaking kama. Pinanood ko sila. I guess it was the moment na stop na for me.

Ang kaso, si Direk, hinabol ako sa malaking kama after a few minutes. Siyempre, si Boytoy sumunod naman. So andun na kami sa malaking kama in short. Parang change venue lang. Haha. Hindi na ako masyado comfortable that time kaya I invited them to release the magic potion na and end the journey. Hehe. Which they did naman fortunately.

Hay! Ibang klase. 2 hot guys in one night. Akalain mong yun. Nagulat din ako sa sarili ko na nagawa ko yun. Pero nangyari nang di mo inaasahan at pinlano. I thought I was just gonna meet a friend lang, who has been so nice and decent sa text. Natulog kami ni Direk sa malaking kama, while si boytoy, nakatulog na sa maliit na kama. He embraced me the whole night. That's the masarap part! What I always enjoy. Hug!!!

Gumising ako nang madaling araw para bumalik na sa room namin ni Zue. Ang paalam ko lang kasi, saglit lang ako. Pero inumaga na ako. Hehe. Pagpasok ko, naggising siya at inusisa kung saan ako galing. Hindi ko napigilan at naikuwento ko kung ano ang nangyari. As always, Zue has been very supportive naman to me. Wala kang maririning na criticism sa kanya, neither judgement. Nagulat lang din siya sa narinig niya.

The following night, (oh wala nang part 2 nang threesome ha) Direk asked me to sleep again in his room. Natulog lang kami together on the second night. Sa kabilang kama ulit si Boytoy. However, pagkagising ko nung umaga, dahil naka-underwear lang siya nung natulog, may ibang tumakbo sa utak ko. Hehe. But since never naman ako nag-iinitiate nang sex, sa utak ko lang yun.

Pero mukhang nabasa ni direk kung ano ang nasa utak ko, nagwoot-woot kami (Kaming dalawa lang) bago ako umalis nang room niya. What a nice breakfast. Hehe. And after that gallera moment, we started going out. Dinner. And we continued texting each other. But again, wala namang namuo. Walang spark. We remained good friends. He even went on my birthday party kahit taga-QC pa siya. Touch ako. Hinanap niya talaga ang house ko. Effort!

Until nung birthday naman niya, siya naman ang nag-aya na pumunta ako sa party niya somewhere in QC but I didn't go. Nahiya kasi ako. Ang mga friends niya kasi, nasa showbiz, nasa line of work niya. I felt na baka ma-awkward lang ako. Sino ba naman ako. Wala din naman akong kilala niyang friend. I doubt that he will never leave me alone eh birthday niya yun at friends lang naman kami. Kaya nagdahilan na lang ako.

Ikina-tampo niya yun big time. Simula nun, bihira na siya magtext. Naintindihan ko. Kasalanan ko din naman. Pero okay lang. Eh kung ganun talaga ang tadhana namin. Naks! Hehe. Hanggang sa napanood ko siya last year sa isang Indie Film. I was shocked. I thought pang-behind the scene lang siya. I was wrong. At meron siyang steamy scene with a guy na pinagpapantasyahan ko na nang matagal. Hehe. Inggit mode.

Direk

Oh well, there goes my one of two threesome experiences na super unforgettable. At least I can say, na-try ko na. Not something I'm gonna do from now on. But something to consider as an experience and gave me some insights about gay sex. Sa susunod naman yung isa. Mas ikagugulat niyo. Hehe. Thanks for reading...

Facebook

Hay! I've registered na rin sa Facebook after a long time. Ayaw ko sana, kaso all of my friends are asking me to register as it is now the new "Friendster" daw. Dahh!!! May ganun! Oh well, kahit may paayaw ayaw pa akong drama, the other day while being so bored and all, nag-register din ako. Ngerks! So that's it. I'm now an official member.

I must admit, it's a different, interesting site din. Oh well, di ko pa kinakarir ang profile ko dun. Basta register lang muna at nag-upload nang ilang pictures. So, whoever readers, hoppers, viewers, followers who wants to add me, just click the link below...

Crazy TL's facebook

10 Crazy Buildings in the World

The Crooked House ( Sopot , Poland )

Erwin Wurm: House Attack ( Viena , Austria )

The Ufo House ( Sanjhih , Taiwan )

Cubic Houses ( Rotterdam , Netherlands )

Habitat 67 ( Montreal , Canada )

Wonderworks ( Orlando , Florida , United States )

Kansas City Public Library ( Missouri , United States )

Ferdinand Cheval Palace a.k.a Ideal Palace ( France )

The Basket Building ( Ohio , United States )

Forest Spiral - Hundertwasser Building ( Darmstadt , Germany )

Happy Birthday Eric!!!

It was Eric's birthday yesterday. Kaso naka-leave siya kahapon and today kaya noong sunday na namin siya binati. Actually nagplano pa nang birthday plot ang R&R Council for a surprise greeting for him kaso nabulilyaso ni Stephen. Ang plano is may ipapagawa muna kay Eric bago kantahan nang team, kaso pagpasok, biglang kumanta nang Happy Birthday si Stephen. Tugoink! Sira ang plano. Hay! Hehe.


Dahil nakikita kong binabasa ni Eric ang blog ko, you deserve a birthday entry!!! Hehe. TL will always be proud of you, do not forget that. Ibang level ka na ngayon!!! Hehe. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC!!!

In Response to Wildion Part I

Wow! Pahabaan na nga ang labanan. Shet! At nagmumukha na ngang "Dear Heart" ang blogsite ko. Hehe. At!!! (hindi ko kinaya ito) May nagtampo pa na isang reader nang blog ko na nagsend din nang story niya through email pero bakit di ko daw pinost. Hay! Sorry naman. Di po ito Maala-ala mo kaya...

So... Addict ka na pala sa akin. Wahaha. Just kidding. Para na pala akong isang marijuana. Haha. Grabe na sa effort nang pag-antabay sa blog ko ha, nakakataba nang puso kong malaki. Hehe. Nahiya naman ako at kailangan mo pang gamitin ang phone mo to access internet. I know it's expensive. Shucks! Di bale, mayaman ka naman eh. Hehe.

I really intended to post random craziness of mine here in my blogsite. That's my complete personality kasi. I am like that at work also. I don't want someone to be so predictable. It will take time for you to read my actions, my words and my mind. I always want to put spice and mystery in everything. That's just me. Hehe.

And by the way, thanks for allowing me to post your email here in my blogsite, and thanks for the stories you've been sharing. Thank you for entrusting me with those memories. And because of that, I now have a glimpse of your character as well. Hay! Para lang kitang pasyenteng pinag-aaralan. Hehe. But I'm enjoying it!!!

It excites me. I always love mind challenges. I like analyzing things. I like reading people's behavior, actions, personality and character. I enjoy questioning the norms. I like to put contradictions to every things just to shake one idea. Basta, I enjoy those things. Kaya nga siguro crazy ako. Hehe.

Anyways, interesting yung yahoo group where my blogsite was broadcasted ha. I wanna treat that person. Hehe. Wildion, thanks for always visiting my site. Actually, feeling ko nga ngayon, konti na lang ang nagbabasa kasi wala na masyadong nagco-comment. Pero yung counter ko disagrees to what I feel. Hehe.

It's nice to know about your work. Interesting. I've always been curious to different lives of people. Some of them are those who works in a hospital, those who are macho dancers, and those security guards. Before, when I got curious about the lives of people living in a slum area, nakipagkaibigan ako to some of them just to feed my curiousity. I really pamper my weird inetersts. It's amazing kasi what are the things that you can learn out of it.

The doctors/nurses, the macho dancers, and the security guards, I'm not really interested with their job, I'm just so curious about their lives. How they deal with their life, with the people around them, their routine, etc. It's interesting for me. Wala lang. Sobrang curious lang talaga siguro ako.

Anyways, talking about your friends Roland and Cathy, what you've been through with them is just normal to a gay life especially during the "denial stage". Hindi yan something new. I think every gay guy went through that stage. Even me. Kanya-kanyang version lang yan nang drama. May simple, may ma-eksena, may madugo, may nakaka-iyak, may masaya.

But come to think of it, those people were the ones used by destiny to open your eyes in seeing the reality. Your life ahead. Your future. It's already a glimpse of the things to come in to your life. Preview kung baga.

And the pain you felt during that stage has given you a memory that will last for a long time so that it will serve as your lesson, your guide, your reminder in the present and in the future. It's the exact validation I was referring to that no matter how your mind tells you that "you are not", your heart will feel and will tell you the inner truth.

There was this one time also that I felt I was a good matchmaker. Because lahat nang friends kong nirereto ko with someone I think would work for them eh nagkakatotoo. Primarily, it's because we're in the middle of the two sexes. We can understand the feelings of a guy and the feelings of a girl, that's why we can easily determine what would work in terms of matching people.

That's the gift of pink people. Knowing both feelings. Understanding both minds. Akala ko pa nga noon nabiyayaan ako nang isang diwata nang isang gift, kasi parang ang galing galing ko mag-match. But I came to a realization (after thinking of it for a lot of times) na it's a hidden given thing for "us".

I also do not believe that in your sorrowness comes the happiness of others. Nangyayari lang yun if you inappropriately attach yourself to a situation, or to someone na una pa lang, alam mo nang mali o hindi pwede. Kaya nga when we help some straight guys, we need to assure first in our self that it's a clean and honest help. Walang other motives or agenda para secure ka in the end of zero-pain. Buti na lang ako, maingat ako sa ganyan. Hehe.

Wildion, talking about going out, inuunahan mo na kasi nang kaka-isip nang mga pwedeng mangyari. That's actually the essence of going out, the exciting part, the unpredictable things. You can never put a script on everything. There are really things that are intended not to be known immediately. It's what we call surprises of life.

That's the fun part of it. Not knowing what will happen. Either it will give you a "nakakahiya" moment, or the other way around. Malay mo si right guy ay makikilala mo pala sa labas unexpectedly. Love is anywhere, but the one that is for you could just be a few steps from you. Baka yung steps mo na lang towards him ang hinihintay. Baka dahil sa di ka gumagalaw, hindi talaga kayo magkakabungguan. Hehe.

Face your fears. Just make sure that when you go out, first is, that you put in your mind that you just want to go out, have fun, enjoy life and see all the possibilities in the world. Hindi yung lalabas ka kasi baka may ma-meet ka and all. Not that! Or else, you'll end up frustrated pag hindi nangyari yung inaasahan mo. Gets?

I am glad to rekindle your passion for writing (it's so obvious) hehe. I can feel you from each word you write. I am impressed actually. You are good, though wordy like me (hehe), but you can see the heart of the writer from each email. Isn't it so nice to write so freely!!! So keep writing!!! Hehe.

I dreamed to be come a writer before when I was in college. But during that time, my self-esteem was not that high and I felt I have no enough skills on it. So I stopped. But I always know that my mind was blessed with so much creativity. I just can't stop thinking. The creative juices are overflowing.

And my creativity is much appreciated whenever I execute an idea, when I say things in my mind out loud, or when I write it. And I find blogging to be the best venue to let some of the things in my mind come out. Not to impress someone or anyone, but to serve as a release of the exploding thoughts and ideas inside my mind. Haha, parang masturbation lang.

Actually, I'm still wishing that someday, I can have like a talk show. I just know I can put a good show. I know I can carry good conversations and properly ask questions. And I wanna use that show to reach out to people. Like Tyra Banks Show. Using media as a medium to help a lot of people realize a lot of things. And to influence.

For now, siguro blog na lang muna. Through a small audience, I will try my best to influence few people (with my craziness). Hehe. And I am grateful to see a large number of people visiting my site everyday. Nakaka-overwhelm actually. Either they are followers or just viewers (I just can't tell), I don't mind. I appreciate it.

People telling their feelings is part of my job my friend. I deal with people everyday. And listening is just one of my powerful tools I use to help people. I think I'm good with it. Maybe that's why a lot of people trusts me, and they freely share their stories/problems without hesitation. I love listening to people!!!

Na-excite ako when you mentioned about the ice cream (shet!) pero nagpipigil na talaga ako doon. Actually, dalawang araw na akong nakapag-ice cream. Saksi pa si Kumander. Hay! Lagot kay Manny! Ang hirap kasi talaga iwasan. Ewan ko ba. Malaking temptation talaga itong ice cream. Hassle!

And wow! You used my ex-es as an example to your class. Sheeeeettttt!!!! Mas sumikat sila kaysa sa akin!!!! Hmpf!!! Haha. Just kidding. Wow! Swerte nila ha. They have to thank me and offer me a one hot steamy night for that. Haha. Just kidding again. And, I don't mind you used them. Did you say to your class also that those are the guys who broke my heart? Haha. Last na just kidding na ito.

You think Kenjie and I will work? Mukhang malabo yan eh. Madami pa siyang issues sa sarili niya ngayon. Ayaw nga makipagkita at di pa daw siya handa akong makita. Ano na! Hinahayaan ko na nga lang eh. Hehe. Actually, kagabi, I had a dream where two of my ex-es are there. It's so weird. I don't know what's the meaning of that. Basta, weird!

I swear Wildion, when I got your email and started reading it, tawa ako nang tawa sa galak. Hay! Kaaliw ka! Bigla tuloy pumasok sa kuwarto si mamiko and wondered why I was laughing alone in my room. Hehe. At grabe, sobrang pinapataba mo ang puso ko. Hay! Salamat nang marami. Touch ako!!!

Feel free to send me an email anytime. I love hearing your stories. And I love posting it. Haha. Take care!


Jerjerly yours,

TL

Wildion replies Part II

To be continued...


I thought they would ditch me. I am very thankful that they never said anything bad about me. They already sensed it and made a guess that I was actually jealous. After that, I slowly learned to accept the fact that I am not for Roland; that he was for Cathy because he is a man, and that only she was fit for him, not me. Slowly, after I shared my pain to all my girl-friends, the burden in my heart dissipated just like a nail pulled out one at a time.

I finally felt freedom. Release. I finally found myself. That experience forever changed me. That experience made me realize that no matter how my brain tells me I am normal, my heart will forever follow its own path, and denying it will hurt me more. This actually contributed much to why I have developed this kind of “sacrificing” attitude.

Roland and Cathy lasted for four (4) years until 2007. They separated without any apparent reason, but I could still feel that they love each other. All I could do was just pray for them to be back together.

Another funny thing is that, the same thing happened to me when I was in second year college. I fell for a guy whom I bridged to a friend. Everything that happened to Roland and Cathy just repeated with them. My friend answered TJ with a “yes” on November 14, 2004 and they are still going strong up to these days. Nasabi ko sa self ko, I have magic…

I am a very good matchmaker… the problem is, the match is only good whenever I fall for the guy and had made sure that he had all the qualities I was looking for in a man. I became hooked to the idea that I could only derive love from a man if I become his bridge to the woman he loves. That’s why I really call myself pathetic. Sometimes I hate to think that I am but, it the truth really makes me one.

Now, everytime I reminisce those times, I would just give a bitter smile. I had had many terrible mistakes and wonderful opportunities but these could never outmatch the experiences I learned from these two matchmaking affairs I did. These memories make a great part of who I am today.

I have come to admit that with my sorrow comes the happiness of others. I know you will surely contradict to this, but I have finally integrated this belief in my being. I am doomed to be a bridge which will always be broken in the end. This, I have accepted with a happy heart.

Have you heard of the term “altruistic surrender”? When I studied psychiatry, I learned about this defense mechanism. This is a defense mechanism whereby a person attempts to fulfill his/her needs vicariously through other people. I do believe that my subconscious has slowly evolved to make this my primary defense mechanism with regards to emotions in order to protect my psychological integrity from breaking apart and keep me away from insanity.

I guess this strong defense mechanism caused my entire being to be wary of relationships. I want to go out, as what you advised me, to meet people, but I am just afraid to do so.

What really keeps me from going out is not because I don’t like the nightlife. I like it. I want to experience it. But I just can’t imagine what I will do when, for example, I will meet this cute guy whom I am interested with and who’s also interested in me. I really hate unpredictable things. I want to know how I will react. I want to know exactly what will happen. As long as I have not reconciled with this fear of the unknown, I believe that I will stay in the shadows, clandestinely envying others for their warm relationship made.

As what I’ve told you, in my age, my primary task to perform is to develop Intimacy with another person. If I will not be able to perform it, I will end up in Isolation, and I cannot progress productively into the next stage in life. That kinda worries me a lot. But I know everything will end up good.

You are so cool and in control of your life. That is why I envy you. You have mustered enough courage to break free from society’s terrible grasp and made yourself one important part of it. You have successfully vanquished the fear of being ostracized, because you primarily live on the tenets of respect and have made yourself worthy of other people’s respect, and you have triumphed over the bitterness of life.

You have seen life in a land so barren, sowed seeds of joy and reaped a bountiful harvest of happiness. You have become a strong person who touched and mattered to many people’s lives. But most of all, you have become who you really are, and have made yourself a worthy example for many.

I couldn’t wait for another opportune time to tell you this. You have rekindled in me my long-lost passion and skills for writing. I have noticed that when I studied Nursing, I lost all my poetic expressions. I became so concrete. I couldn’t write the way I wrote when I was in high school.. But now, I finally found the motivation to write in your articles. They have managed to break down the walls that have trapped my artistry and once again propelled me to compose melodic proses.

However, a good writer knows the limits of his skills.. I believe this is my limit. I have to admit, you are an excellent feature writer, far better than I am. You know, you could fare well in a lifestyle section of a newspaper. You have this unique quality that is innate and never taught. You have the “touch”, the “intellectual humor”.

You manage to inject yourself in everything you write, and that defines a good writer – someone who could bring others into their own worlds and make them believe they are living it themselves. And I tell you, that trait is seldom found in anybody. It is a rare gift that should be cherished. And because of this, I will constantly look for the most opportune moment to include your ideals and your life as a source of wisdom and learning in my lectures or speaking engagements.

I really appreciate your sincerity and concern especially when you said “So what I am saying is, is that, it could not be conviction, but it could be a moral standard. It's up to you. I mean I am not encouraging you, but believe me, I have tried thinking ‘I am not one of them’ before, but I was unsuccessful. So I plunged in. I lived my life. But I defined the life I wanted to live. I kept on proving to people that there is no such thing as standards in life. Everything varies and changes. Each day is a surprise. No one can really set a standard…. What I'm wishing for you is that you learn how to bring ‘life’ in your life.”

This still keeps me thinking. Maybe I will only be able to put “life” into my life if the time will come when I will be able to see the reason and my purpose that I have been looking for. I am so indebted to your sincere words of wisdom. I tell you, I have learned so much from your views. Knowing that you are also a faithful believer really warms my heart. At least I am not the last to have been given this test. And I am profoundly grateful for your encouraging words. They were really very insightful.

Do you know that letting others verbalize their feelings and actively listening are the most effective therapeutic communication techniques we nurses use? Thanks for using that with me. You indeed are one great friend, kuya.

And oh, about the ice cream… I believe you have just finished your entire contract with your dedicated trainer, Manny. Haha… requirement pala yon… I love that too, kaso medyo “Ramadan” muna ako diyan kasi ang dami kong lectures these days. Masyado na ngang ngarag ang boses ko sa dami ng speaking engagements at lectures ko.

Pero I know one time soon, the time for us to finally meet in person will come. Medyo malayo kasi ako sa Luzon eh. Visayas me. Hay, sana di kita na bored sa mahaba kong sulat. (sorry poh, kuya). Libre nalang kita ng ilang gallon ng favorite ice cream mo next time. Hehe.

Hay, regarding Juztine… I think he deserves it. He’s such one obstinate guy, ha. But I agree with what you texted him. At least that would make him realize how ironic and what a liar he is.

And oh, by the way, I showed some pictures of your ex-es to my class yesterday (kasi aside from my supervisory role sa hospital, nagtuturo din ako sa isang nursing school at nag-lelecture sa isang review center). I hope it’s okay with you. Sana di ka magalit sa akin.

I had this lecture kasi about developmental theories, and we had this topic about “chum” relationships – a stage in life according to Sullivan when preadolescents develop a “platonic” relationship with another member of the same sex. This is considered normal because it’s part of growing; however, some never outgrow this.

Sabi ko, there are plenty of guys out there na mukhang lalake, may girlfriend pero may boyfriend din. Ang daming nagreact. Haha. Kaya pinakita ko yung pictures ng mga gorgeous ex-es mo but not their names. It was fleeting naman kaya di naman dangerous na baka maregister sa mind nila yung mga mukha nila.

Mukhang madaming votes si Kenjie… boyish charm daw, tsaka singer… iba talaga ang dating ng marunong kumanta… That means, kahit di na uso ang harana, songs still melt hearts… hay, and you sing too…. You two might have had such sweet moments together (daydreams…) Hehe… and knowing that he is still sweet with you makes me envy you more. You’re such one incredible person.

O siya, siya… I think, it’s time to make you rest… See you in your next entry na lang…

Take care!!!!

Wildion