Knowing What Makes You Happy

How do you pick yourself up from the past life's challenges?

Sure, the loud music and endless grooving helps, but I'm getting tired of partying and the more crowded the club gets, the more alone and empty I feel. I just got home after going out with some friends in Malate (Jze, Benz and Yon). But what is this void that has been consuming my passionate soul? I fear, that sooner or later, things will become more ugly. Shet!!!

It's been awhile since I last partied. The first few weeks were tough since I have been craving for booze, loud music and good company. But things are better for me. I realized that in the company of myself, I do not need to force a smile, fake a laughter or pretend that I am happy. I decided to detach myself from everything that has been consisting my monotonous life so I could figure out what I really want.

It's all about knowing what would really make you happy, right?

Being in the company of my friends, team, mamiko, and my room is therapeutic. Yes, they remind me, without them knowing it, of the days when I prayed and dreamed for a better life. And now, more than ever, I desire to be stronger like what strength I had before. Silently, I pray this desire be granted.

Thank you for those sweet comments and thoughtful emails you've placed and sent. Funnee how people away from me, and those that I don't personally know, are the ones who have touched my heart and gave so much comfort. I appreciate those messages and thank you for including me in your prayers. Thank you for the patronage in my blog despite of the fact that upto now, I still don't get how you all like it. But thanks anyway.

To the author of Pinoy Gay Guy Confidential, thanks for the very uplifting comment. I truly appreciate the thought, especially the part of expressing how you miss my entries. Yeah, it's been awhile since I last posted an entry. Even Ash is asking me to update my blog. I haven't been that inspired to write these past few days.

I have realized that it is when we are in great need that we discover who our real friends are. Sadly for me, nobody even noticed I was in need of one. Lesson learned? There is. That everyone else has their own needs to even notice yours. And so you turn to the only person you can count on in times of needs. YOURSELF.

I will not be the victim of my own weakness nor will I allow myself to be corrupted by my own strengths. The journey continues. The battle goes on. It is my choice to be happy. To be strong. To be positive about things. And to live my life to the fullest even when things are not getting in your way.

God will always shower me with happiness. And I know, he will continue to use people to show my happiness. Again, happiness is a choice. It's all about knowing what really makes you happy...