The Awakening

Yesterday, I felt obliged to explain myself to a friend after being bugged by my conscience. And as I did, I felt my humanity evaded me. During the conversation, I felt that I have been slowly transformed into someone. Something. Immaterial. Insensitive. I need not be reminded of that - I already feel that way.

And for a while, I believed that my friend stared at me like I am a bad guy. For a while, I saw myself as the person she thought I was. But after the conversation, after the sermon, after making me feel so bad because she thinks I have to know it, I have to realize it, and I have to change it, I slowly walked away and realized that she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at a guy who is starting to evolve in me.

The bad feeling I felt disappeared and was replaced by respect. For there was a person putting up her defenses to defend a man she knows to be good. I am convinced though, that if she gave me a chance, she will understand why I have done it. Because God knows, I do know, that I am not a bad person...

And that comforts me after everything...

And to you, yes, to you who can feel something in your heart that it is you who I am referring to while reading this, the right time will come for you to understand the why behind the what. I am a man of strong will but when it comes to this, I am the weakest person. Sorry...

Thanks my friend for the awakening...