Be careful!!!

Monday morning, when I checked my emails at work, I receive this one from my friend and was really shocked about it. But truly, I was amazed by his bravery to do such thing. I salute him and immediately asked if I can post his email in my blogsite. He then allowed me and so, here's the email that I would like to share to everyone:

Am I really writing this e-mail? Are you sure you even want to read this? Do you even want to be as scared as I was? Be warned. You should read this at your own risk.

This would probably be the most private thing I’ll ever share to such a massive number of people, but I think I have to. Let this be, as much as it can be, a long piece of advice given from one adult to another. I don’t really know what will happen if I send this e-mail…maybe there will be people who’ll judge me, maybe there will be people who’ll laugh…people who’ll say “That will never happen to me…” But what I’m really hoping for is that you think after you’ve read this e-mail. That’s all I’m really hoping for…for people to start thinking.

This week, I had the biggest health scare a man could probably ever go through. Somebody from my past came out on live television last weekend to confirm that he’s HIV positive.

You read that right. And this, my dear friends and colleagues…is NOT a forwarded e-mail. This is me, ****** *******, writing this e-mail to you.

Weeks ago, I heard the rumor from my friends that corroborated what I saw on TV last weekend. Upon hearing the rumor, I already became agitated enough, as every normal person would. I remember not being able to sleep for two nights and mustering enough courage to have myself tested when payday came just so that I'd be sure.

And then I saw him on "Jessica Soho Reports". In a matter of minutes, my phone was bombarded with text messages and calls. In a matter of hours, I started receiving e- mails from a few people who knew that I “knew” this person five years ago. All they really needed to do was follow a trail and that trail would have had me as one of the directional arrows.

What do you tell people when no amount of honesty holds enough validity in it to tell them that they’re okay? What amount of consoling do you give people when they tell you over and over again that they’re scared? Crude enough as it seemed, when I ran out of things to say, all I was able to add was, “Dude, no amount of telling you anything will make us really sure if we’re infected or not. We all have to have ourselves checked.”

Later on that Sunday, I was able to get a little information from various sources. The doctors’ “guesstimate” was that my friend had acquired the virus about 3-4 years ago. 1 year was a year too close for comfort. The information still didn’t “clear” me of anything. I didn’t want to be stupid about the issue. I wanted to be sure.

And then, I thought of my family. I thought of the people I care for. Right now, I’m trying to build a relationship with someone I seriously want to be with. The only thought that went through my head was that I hope I haven't put him at risk.

I came to work Monday night agitated. I feel so lucky and blessed to be working with a team that understands and supports me...never gave me the littlest amount of judgment. That very same night, after asking me if I wanted to do it, they took me to the clinics and facilities here in Alabang just so that I could have the test done and I could get the agitation and fear off my head. I had the examination done the day after. But my Team supported me and was with me every step of the way. They knew that I was bothered. They knew that I was on the edge of sanity thinking about the terrible “what if’s”.

There were also people, like **** ****, who expressed their concern and care without judgment…who gave me a big, tight hug and told me that everything will be alright.

It’s because of these people that I didn’t waste any time. I took the test...just this afternoon, I got the results.

I’m lucky. It’s negative. But I think that’s all I was, really. Lucky.
Right now, I know that I can't base my life on luck. It’s my responsibility to stay healthy for the people I care for and for the people who get worried about me when I’m worried for myself.

But why am I sending this e-mail? Why am I writing you telling you what probably has to be the most shameful thing I had to experience?

To those of you who see me, a lot of you may think that “There’s a person who doesn’t have a life!” It’s true. I spend most of my time here. I’m a boring, boring individual. I almost never go out. I wouldn’t be what anybody would even remotely consider as fun-loving. But I was almost exposed to this kind of risk. At some point, I had been stupid. I'm sure someone out there has used the same amount of stupidity at one point or another.

What I’ve realized this week is that we hear a lot about these things and all act like we’re aware…but deep inside we all think that it can never happen to us.

From one adult to the other: IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU. Believe me, it can…if we keep on thinking that we’re so far removed from it. For me, it hit so close to home. They say there’s six degrees of separation? I’m telling you right now that no amount of separation can separate us enough from this issue. IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE IF WE DON’T TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES.

I never thought I’d go through the ordeal of worrying for the people I love and care for. I never thought that I’d have to worry about what happens next with my life. I just never thought. And that’s where the problem was, really. Back in those days, I never really took a moment to think.

Thinking about it now, every time I speak to people who may have shared private matters with me, most people think that the only thing we have to worry about when we talk about the sexual act is birth control. That’s the only “problem” they think of. Everything else is just fun. And maybe it is simply just that. But everybody has a past, and if we’re all not careful that past can come back to haunt us. Don’t let it haunt you like it did to me. Be smart.

****** ******* was a good man, a smart man with all the promise life could possibly offer. He has this disease. I could have gotten it. You could also get it if you keep thinking that you’re invincible.

My world changed in one weekend. There are certain things I’ll never be able to look at the same way ever again. And it’s a good thing.

My message to everybody right now is that I hope that with each action we do, we think countless times about the people we care for. I hope we get into the habit of asking ourselves, “Are we putting other people at risk?” Because it’s never just about us. Others will always be pulled into the things we do.

Let’s take care of our health, everyone. It’s a precious, precious thing that I took for granted until this week when its importance was shoved right to my face.

Be aware. Be prepared. Be safe and please, please, please take care of yourselves.

May you all have a Merry Christmas and a Healthy New Year.