The 3rd week dilemma

Before nathan, I got involved with someone that lasted only for 3 weeks. The second person that I had relationship that existed only for that period of time. My bestfriend once texted me of her concern why I can no longer last, or keep a long-term relationship lately. It hit me and made me think a lot.

This relationship I have with nathan is just new. This coming sunday marks our 3rd week. And I'm getting scared that I might just lost the feeling again for no reason (like what happened in the past). Yeah, the crazy heart and mind of TL.

Our 40-minute conversation yesterday was so frightening. Why? Because I opened up my feelings, shared my thoughts on the status of our relationship, and expressed everything that I've wanted to express. I just let it out. I'm very vocal about what I feel. And honestly, I was expecting he won't understand me and this 3rd week dilemma would just come in unsurprisingly.

That is TL's way of handling new relationship. Before the feeling gets deeper, tests should be done, foundation should be checked, and character should be scanned. TL won't invest with someone whom he is not sure if the person can't last in the relationship.

But I was wrong. It even shocked me. I was very impressed with the level of understanding he displayed last night and how open-minded he was. He did not get mad. He did not contradict my opinions. He did not disagree. But instead, he analyzed everything I've said and took it to help him make this relationship work for us.

I was very happy. I thought that would be the end. Though I was ready for it because I'm used to ending things easily, but things happened differently. And I am glad it turned out good. He really wanted this to work. So I guess I'll have to do my part then.

I am praying that I can last this time. I am hoping that I can finally settle down again. I want to. I just need to do it. I need to hold on to my will. He'll see me this weekend. We'll see on sunday what will happen and what destiny lies for the two of us and for this relationship.

Let's see...