Bad Habit to Break

Katext ko kanina si ex (Kenjie) and he was just expressing his disappointment sa kinalabasan nang pagpapa-salon niya. He didn't like the outcome of the hair cut and hair color, mukha daw siyang hosto. Ang banat ko, "Tara, punta tayo nang japan...". Hehe. At doon na nagsimula ang text exchange namin. Hanggang sa umabot na naman sa bittersweet ending nang naging relasyon namin before.

"Hay naku, April 11, 2007, after lunch yun, tinawagan mo ako...". He was referring to the day I called him just to break up with him. I was actually denying that I was the one who ended it pero grabe, akala ko malulusutan ko at mapapalabas kong siya ang nakipaghiwalay pero tanda pala niya ang date. Shet! Alam pa din niya. Wala akong kawala.

I then again hated myself. I have this very bad habit of breaking up with people that I engage with. If not thru text, thru email, or over the phone lang. 6 out of 8 pink relationships I had, ganun yung nangyari. I know it's not so good but I just can't have the guts to do it face to face. Malakas ang pakiramdam kong pwedeng maiba ang desisyon ko eh. Kaya I do it the way you won't see the person's face.

Friends are hating me for having that unknown habit. I dunno. I will try to change it. Hindi ko lang kasi talaga kayang makipaghiwalay nang harapan. Pusong marupok ako eh. Ayokong nakakakita nang malungkot na mukha lalo na nang luha. Weakness ko yun eh. Mabilis magbago isip ko pag nakakakita na ako nun. But anyways, I'll try to work on this bad habit. I wish that I can just break it so easily.

Here's a text from our exchange kanina na sobrang tinamaan ako nang guilt feeling. Pakshet!!! Magbabago na nga ako...

"Ang sakit kaya nung ginawa mo...
You just dropped me like a hot potato...
And mas masakit pa lalo is because of the lies my ex did...
Na pinaniwalaan mo and you never asked for my side...
Alam mo ba umalis ako sa grupo when I found out from you...
Then bumalik lang ako after 7 months...
SAKIT PA DIN UP TO NOW..."

Ouch!!!