Wildion Part I

As promised, this is my response to a very nice email you sent to me Wildion. And as I have said also, tatapatan ko ang haba nang email mo. Hehe. But seriously, you have opened a pathway to different interesting topics that blasted a lot of thoughts in my mind. Again, thanks for the great email, and thanks for giving me such awesome ideas.

I am glad that you and my blogsite have crossed each other's paths. I am happy to know that in my own crazy ways, I am inspiring people. Honestly, I never thought I was. All I know is that I freely express my thoughts in so many ways in this blogsite. And I don't know if you already know that I did post your email. Hehe. Thank you for the appreciation and for acknowledging things that I only knew it was just me who knows it.

Let me go ahead and start picking some interesting topics to discuss. First, you said you found my blogsite in a yahoo group? Hmmm... I got curious about that. I wonder what has been said about me and my site. Scary... Hehe. But at least, the good thing about it is that, it made a way for my blogsite to reach you. Thanks for trusting your instinct to check it out (wink-wink).

I am impressed on how you read all of my entries. What can I say? Ang tiyaga mo! Bilib ako sa mga taong kayang pagtiyagaan simulan at basahin lahat nang entries ko. To know things about someone you don't know is something to me. And yes, I appreciate it very much. Actually, ginagawa ko na ngang sukatan ngayon itong blogsite ko pagdating sa pagkakaibigan. Hehe.

Doon ko nalalaman kasi kung sino talaga ang kaibigan kong may interest sa buhay ko. Bihira na kasi ako magkwento sa kanila. Halos lahat kasi, sinusulat ko na dito. Kaya malalaman mo kung sino ang may alam nang latest happening sa buhay ko kung nagbabasa sila nang blog ko. Pag wala silang alam, you will know that they don't read your blog. No effort, no interest. Well, that's just for me.

Madami akong kaibigan na andiyan lang pag high times. Pero pag low times, nawawala. Kaya ako, once na absent sila pag low season, I start considering them as part-time friends. People that you should less trust with your life. Bihira ako magconsider nang friends. Pihikan ako sa kaibigan. Very choosy. But if I consider you as one, sobrang swerte mo naman. Kasi you can really expect a great friend in me. I swear.

Funny how you have set aside your work for two days just by being hooked on to my blogsite. That's something. It meant a lot to me, seriously. Thank you! I didn't know that my entries are addicting. Hehe. But what I do know is that I make sure I mix humor on every entry I post. Life is stressful, kaya I wanna cheer up people through my writings. It's working pala. Hehe.

My life is not that perfect Wildion. It's not light and amusing all the time. I lead 21 people at work. I deal with them everyday. Each of them. I also deal with my co-workers. I'm the head of my family. I don't have a partner. I have health issues. My daughter is not with me. You see, I'm incomplete. There are times that I feel so weak. There are days that I long for some things. There are moments of despair. And sometimes, things are just becoming so stressful.

But what I do is I always make a good choice out of every situation. I think a lot. And I don't put a fight between my mind and my heart. I use them both to make a very good decision. I combine logic and emotions. And I always choose to be happy and to be optimistic all the time. I throw away negative things in my mind and I go away with negative people. Life is all about dealing. And you must be a good dealer for you to have a good life.

If you think your life is repressed and alone, it's because your mind chose to think it's repressed and alone. You are the one who suppose to control your life, not your society, not your family, not even your friends or whoever, but you. Whatever convictions that are controlling you, try to look at it again and see if they are really convictions, or you'll never know it could be just a perception of mind that is telling you and blinding you actually.

You have to change your paradigm. This is the way we see, understand, and interpret things. What we see (paradigm), is what we do (behavior), and is what we get (result). The results we get in life depends on what we do. What we do in life depends on how we see the world around us. That's why they say if you want small changes, work on your behavior. But if you want quantum-leap changes, work on your paradigm.

Be not afraid of who you are. You have to accept yourself first before you expect people to accept you. People can only react, may be violently or discreetly, but it all boils down to knowing that it is just reactions. We can always choose not to be influenced by reactions. We may take it, but we can also not live with it. Never allow your life to be haunted by what people will think. You are just attaching yourself to their lives, wherein fact, you can have your own and them as your attachments. Hehe.

Whether effeminate or strong, let people see who you really are. Ikaw yan eh. Never live a life of someone. Live what is yours. And live freely. Set yourself free. But again, as I have said in one of my previous entries, establish respect first, it's gonna help you more towards being accepted. Life is better when you are sorrounded with respect. Believe me!!!

Relationships are also cool. They add color and spice in to your life. But sometimes, they are pain in the ass. Don't hurry in to falling in love. It is best experienced if there's magic drawn by destiny. And don't ever close your mind in to different possibilities. Don't draw a line. Let things happen. There are really forces in the world that we cannot control. Just enjoy.

Kung kailangan magka-crush, go! Kung may manligaw, try it! Kung may gusto kang ligawan, go and try it! You only live once my brother. And you will only be young once in your life. Don't deprive your self with great things in life because we can never turn back the time. Get away from the concept of You and your own World. Go out! Change your lifestyle. Meet new friends! But be wise and safe. It's not always about risking and trying.

It's super cool that you haven't got any sexual experience. It's not a very bad thing. It's okay. I myself was a late bloomer as well. From the opening of new door to my life, to the curious stage, and up to now, I have maintained my standards when it comes to sex. You don't need to follow what society has said about sexcapades. It is still you who will dictate how you want to taste a coffee. If you want it hot, cold, bold or strong. Until you are ready my friend.


To be continued...