A Dominant Guy

"TL, kanino ka mas naka-relate na character sa movie???"

That was the question of Ash after watching the movie He's not just that in to you. I answered him, "Jennifer Aniston". Her role in the movie is someone living-in with her boyfriend (Ben Affleck) for 7 years already but they haven't settled yet in to marriage. And all of her sisters are married already and she's the only one left. That was her struggle. She wants to get maried.

However, marriage is not her boyfriend's thingie. He doesn't believe in marriage. He loves Jennifer so much, he's responsible, loving, caring, nice, loyal, faithful, but just not the marrying type-of-guy. Until one day, Jennifer asked for it but Ben was just honest enough to say he can't (politely) but she got so disappointed which led to their break-up.

Anyways, it's not about the "marriage" why I said I related so much with Jen's character. It is actually about being someone who tries to get what she wants when she wants it. Without considering the other person, and being selfish and all, she was willing to give up someone special just because she did not get what she wants. That's where I saw myself in an instant.

I have that tendency. Okay, I'm not saying I'm like that (disclaimer), but I just have that tendency sometimes. I'm a very dominant person. I always know what I want, and I make sure I get it. If I engage with someone who has a weak personality, tendency is, I get to control things. I'm very opinionated. I'm a keen observer. I think a lot. It will take a lot for you to get back the control from me. And I must admit, I'm a control freak sometimes (now, are you scared? hehe).

That's why whenever I meet someone, I do some dominant/subordinate tests immediately just to check if the guy has the tendency to be dominant, or could be over-shadowed by my personality. And when I start to see some signs of dominance, I go for the guy. It's a check! That's what I really want. Someone who can control me.

Someone who can make strong decisions and can tell strong opinions. Someone who can persuade me. Someone who can make me follow. Someone who can shut me at times. Not necessarily done in a strong manner. Sometimes, even silence can be a very strong force to be reckoned. What I need is a real man. A dominant one.

Because when the crazy time comes and I started wanting something which will not work for the two of us, I want someone who can say "No" and will be followed with convincing reasons that will make me understand and stop wanting it. Because if I got to that point, and the guy did not take full control, I will do what Jennifer did in the movie. I break up with my man.

That's what happened with some of my ex-es in the past (some lang ha). Oh well, it only showed they aren't dominant enough to control me. But there's something inside of me that is wanting to change this attitude. And I am hoping I meet him. I am dreaming of a guy who would hold my hand and will tell me, "Hey, stop, let me take the wheel..."