Intersection

I somehow feel that I am lost. With life or maybe in love. I feel I am in the cross roads with one intersection after the next. Should I go left? Right? Straight ahead? Or back? With work, it's easy though. You just envision where you wanna go, make sure you're ready for the drive then just go for it. It's all in the mind. You are in control of the journey, despite of curved balls thrown on your way.

But with love? Ahh, that's tricky. Where should I go? Left? Right? Should I go straight for it? Plunge in? Or take a step back? Even when you have choices, it feels like you really don't. Unlike everything else in life, where the mind leads, the heart doesn't always follow. They say you can't choose who you fall in love with, but you choose who you are. If I plunge in, if I let myself truly, madly, fall in love, will I like the person I see when I'm looking through the eyes? Or the eyes of another?

And if I don't, if I choose a different path, take the one on the left, or the right, or maybe a step back, what will become of me? Will I devoid myself of the chance to be truly, blissfully happy? What of my heart and the rare occurrences of falling in love?

When your heart and your mind is in disagreement, which should you follow? One offering you the chance to be happy right here, right now. Or the other, sparing you of the heartache and the consequences that are yet to come.

But maybe, just what my friend said, all I need is that one moment. One perfect moment. One memory that will find meaning in my life. The "Before Sunrise" moment. To borrow one of my favorite lines from that movie:

"I mean, it's not so bad if tonight is our only night, right? People always exchange phone numbers, addresses, they end up writing once, calling each other once or twice...

Jesse: Right (Fizzles out). Yeah, I mean, I don't want that. I hate that.
Céline: I hate that too, you know.
Jesse: Why do you think everybody thinks relationships are supposed to last forever?
Céline: Yeah, why. It's stupid. "